I need a moment to deliberate…

I wanted to elaborate on “right situations” for myself.

I used to liken my inner world, inner balance, and “true north” to a recording studio control room. A massive and large one.

You cannot attend to all controls at all times. You have to change and calibrate them constantly. Sometimes you need help. Sometimes you need to move around the room.

Sometimes there is no help. Because— by this “control room” metaphor you’re totally fucking alone, and you are mixing and mastering… praying to god it sounds “good.” How I have been tone deaf over the years.

Sometimes for yourself. And who cares the outcome!

Sometimes for AND to placate somebody else and whatever their agenda might be.

Maybe the better metaphor is a mobile studio… A small little 8-track and you’re trying to record outside a busy airport… removing the plane sounds from whet you’ve captured. ← this is an unavoidable, but incorrect situation to be in. It’s probably harder then being alone in a massive room, because there are things getting in the way… making it impossible to be objective. To have a moment…To deliberate.

I’ve begun to realize that I can’t always do that. But I still have to try. Sorry I said no to the trip to watching those planes land. It is truly magical.

I should hire an editor.