My apologies to my poor friend who I word vomited on tonight. Right context is the subject matter… Right. To the point. Already lost you.
Alcohol does not make me any more coherent/cogent. 😉
Either I just had a great conversation or the other person humored me. That’s the DOES in DOES (see this term as it relates to Highly Sensitivity). I don’t really fucking know at the end of that day.
But I left feeling great. I was passionate. I felt like I had given meaningful advice or at the very least— bandying of ideas.
Then the doubt police visited when I got into my car. Had I over stepped my bounds? Was I judgemental? Did I misread the situation?
…brings the subject of today in focus:
-Puting myself in the right situations-
One can only attend to this spiral of: Depth of professing, Overstimulation, Empathy, and Sensitivity to stimuli by first being in the right situations (not an Uber with drunk lascivious gays, and many other iterations of this in life).
The real trouble is— when the stars align it is great… and my immediate “alone in the car” reaction would not be to over process. But sometimes— this night I did genuinely connect… in a safe situation… and I will still over process. “DOES!”
And sometimes I force myself for the sake of “normalcy” I force myself to play-along in the not-so-empty car. Ubering on New Years Eve.
The onus is on me to know when to call the game.
…stretch myself, But respect boundaries I should have known well by know.
But high sensitivity is high caution, and I could be wrong. How dare I be wrong (“learned shame”).